Our Last Hour
by Beast Love
Summary: "After this I will no longer be able to look at you as I want to. To see you as I want to. To feel you as I want to. I wanted to die."


**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Gakuen Alice _(_Alice Academy_). I purely own the plot. There is possibly OOC-ness occurring and is placed in an AU (Alternate Universe).

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><p>Our Last Hour<p>

by Beast Love

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><p>Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.- Herman Hesse<p>

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><p>I tried to run down the corridor, but it was hard in these uncomfortable dainty shoes. My white skirt was bunched into my small hands and I still managed to step on the hem of it. Who's idea was it to make such a long dress? Oh, right, Lady Hotaru's. She was the one who designed the dress. I took a deep breath, pretending I didn't feel any pain as I walked faster to my destination. I had to find him. I only had more than a hour left...<p>

I was panting by the time I reached his room. The room I would sneak into every time I could. I let the feeling of my heartbeat and blushing cheeks fill me. I wanted to remember the feeling I had every time I just walked by this door, every time I stood outside, every time I would come in. I reached my hand out to the handle, making my fingers just brush the knob. What if he doesn't want to see me? What if I was simply nothing to him and he didn't care about what will happen in an hour? I smiled bitterly to myself. Yes, he did seem like the type to do that. Always cold, stubborn, short-tempered. I loved even those parts of him.

I closed my eyes as I turned the knob, letting myself in. He might not want to see me, yet I had to see him. I had to see him one last time before I could never again look at him the same way. I swiftly turned around, opening my eyes again when I closed the door shut, engraving the details of the wooden door into my mind. I wanted to turn around to face him, to show him I still had my chin up, like I was always told to do. The pang of fear pulsed in my head. _He might not want to see me..._

"What are you doing here?"

His deep voice echoed through the stone room, empty of everything apart from the chest, the bed, and the window that he would always be looking out of. His voice sent a shiver up my spine, the hairs on my neck and arms rose, along with the goosebumps. Merely his voice caused such a reaction from me. My lips parted, my face warmed. This man was the only one who could ever do this to me. Frankly, I loved it, no matter how many times I denied it.

I spun around, my white lace skirt twisting awkwardly getting stuck to the wooden door. I wrapped my arms around me, feeling exposed under his powerful gaze that seemed to see everything. I stared at the cold gray stone floor, remembering the many nights he would dance with me in his room without any music other than that of the owls.

"I wanted to see you..." I looked up, my eyes burning and welling up. Oh dear, I was supposed to come looking strong.

He remained silent. His crimson eyes empty of all emotions. Did he not care at all about the many nights we spent together? Did he not care about my situation? Only an hour... Only an hour to memorize him all. To memorize those bright red eyes that would haunt a person's mind for weeks. The pale skin, scarred by his many brave battles. His dark ebony hair that always felt silky when I ran my fingers through it. His wonderful strong scent at the nape of his neck. His large hands that would glide all over my body. His deep husky voice that was enough to make me fall onto my knees. Did he not care about what he had done to me?

"Why are you silent...?" I smiled nervously. "Feeling shy all of a sudden because I'm pretty in this dress?"

He remained silent. My fake smile faltered. Stupid girl, as if he would ever fall for any girl. It was always everyone falling for him.

I took another deep breath, blinking my eyes to hold back the tears that wanted to swim down my cheeks. "I love you, you know, Sir Natsume? I love you so much it hurts to see you not being next to me. I-I always thought we could run away together. Get married, have little children with your eyes running around. I-It was a silly dream of course. You don't care about me at all. Probably just using me to your satisfaction. I knew that, honest I did. But...I came running back because I didn't mind. I loved you even though I was never yours, not even for a moment. Only those times you would hold me..."

I walked up to him, he didn't move. I hesitantly placed my hand on his cheek, stroking gently at his sharp structured face. I leaned up, pressing my lips against his, moving slowly, enjoying the moment, remembering everything about him. After a long while, I removed myself from him, flushed in the face, looking into his, seeing nothing but a blank expression. I sighed through my nose.

"I was beyond despaired when I heard I had to marry Sir Ruka. I have nothing against the man, so sweet and gentle. He wasn't you, that was the problem. I thought for sure father would let me marry you, after all, you are his best knight. Yet, you didn't react at all to the news when I told you. You stood as still as you are now, as if I were talking to a wall. Then you held me again, and again after that, until a week ago, when Sir Ruka came to the castle. You ignored me. You removed yourself from your room every night. I felt alone. Truly alone than I ever had in my life. You had left me without even saying good-bye or at least mentioning never seeing me again. And now, I'm here seeing you in my last hour of freedom. After this I will no longer be able to look at you as I want to. To see you as I want to. To feel you as I want to. I wanted to die. I truly did, but I couldn't. I had my kingdom and family to think about. So, this will be my last moments of my love for you, Natsume."

I kissed him once more, wrapping my arms around his neck. No reaction came from him. I couldn't stop the tears anymore. I gave up. I had to go back. They were most likely searching for me.

I pulled away, slowly removing my hands from him to rest at my sides. "Good-bye, Sir Natsume. The next time I will see you I will be a married woman."

And with that, I walked away from the room, not turning around to see his face once more. I shut the door to his room, leaning against it as I wept silently. Yes, this was the end, Mikan. I cleaned my face the best I could. I stood up straight, chin high up, as Natsume had always scolded me to do. I smiled at the memories. We have fought, yelled at each other, but we had our close moments, even moments when he would open up to me with a rare smile playing on his lips. I walked down the corridor, placing my hand on my belly. Well, it's only me and you now, little one. You will be my most cherished memory of my love.

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><p>The End<p>

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><p><strong>AN:** Something I wrote out of the blue. Just a sad sweet story. Natsume's true feelings shall remain a mystery, it is for you to decide what he felt. Thank you for reading! Reviews are appreciated, but not demanded.


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